OFF ROAD and ON TRACK

ok, it looks like the over the border gas/diesel deal has got a little presure from one government or another. On the last trip to cheap fuel land I hear that folks were told that they could not fill up “such a big tank”. Seems like the subsidy by  the mexican governement does not include gringos who want to fill up a “grande tank”. I dont have all the facts yet but trust me I will dig ‘em up and keep you informed. For now, however, if you have a “grande tank” you ain’t gonna get it Grande filled, at least not without a little grease for the effort. Mexico is still a wonderful land filled with wonderful people who understand the value of service when it comes to that touch of class or extra coin.  get the drift?

ride dirty and take an extra peso for paco when you fill up, it just makes good sense, no?

snakecharmer

Every morning I get wound up about somthing. It starts with having three boys ages 13,13 ,14 rasing hell at 5:30 am about who is wearing what bling bling BS that day. It continues when I get to the office where I have contracted and continue to foster a very serious case of “client based turets syndrome”. Its unfortunate for for me, but the truth is, this crap is funny I dont care who you are. So, if Ican’t laugh at myself,  I’m really getting left out of the fun ’cause everybody else is.

So, in an effort to ease the pain, blow some steam and let you join the rest who point and crack jokes at my expence, welcome to “The morning sit show”.  I purposely left out the “h”  in sit, why have rating issues right off the bat. Besides, the first 5 minutes of “your day at the desk” should set the stage for the rest of the day. “Sit down shut up and laugh”

This is an introduction. A stupid waste of time, but I wanted to make sure that my title, expected content and any other grand scheme relating to ‘the morning sit show” was imortalized here so that my stupidity in print and pictures gets all the respect is does’nt deserve and copyright protection to boot.

DON’T TELL ANYONE….     DIESEL IS $2.20 PER GALLON IN MEXICO

VIVA LA MEXICO !!!   VIVA LA PEMEX  

During the Baja 500 we stopped at a PEMEX station to get a little fuel. Accustomed to the gas prices in San Diego, I yanked out a wad of Jackson’s and got ready for the pain. I don’t speak much Spanish, but I damn sure know the difference between “treinta y cinco dolares  and sesenta y cinco dolares”. The fella in the PEMEX uniform said “treinta y cinco” clear as a bell. For you gringos, that’s 35 bucks, regardless of where you’re from. But I had to check…first in English, then in Spanish, hell even in French at that point to make sure I was hearing right. Well, there was no mistake, gas is HALF the price in Mexico.

That fill-up was in Ensenada, so considering the particularly lubricated state I was in, my mind sloshed over the possibilities while I did my best to see by covering one eye. Good thing I was’nt driving, concentrating on the road, with only one eye would have made be even more dizzy and I would’ve thought the half price gas was all a dream. Arriving in TJ, I made my buddy pull over at my newest most favorite place, a PEMEX station, so I could focus on the sign with the prices. After a few minutes of painful concetration and currency conversion I came up with the figure of 2.61 per gallon.   

At our shop we build aluminum cross bed fuel tanks for diesel pick ups. Generally, these are purchased by contractors with heavy equipment or guys towing trailers who don’t want to stop every 100 miles to fill up their tanks. I had noticed that over the past month or so orders for these tanks had increased, but being slower than most I just welded more aluminum and turned up the country music. The morning after the 500 I came to the shop with a whole new revelation, (and a few facts), diesel sells for 2.20 per gallon in Mexico and I had just paid $5.50 at the 7-11 on corner of Mission and Balboa. I don’t like that place very much anymore. I then looked online to price out the other guys aluminum tanks. Some were a little cheaper than ours (crappy things) and most were hundreds of dollars more (crappy things). The clincher was when I called to see if I could a tank right now, “I mean now, like shipped out today”. A 30 to 45 day delivery time was the answer and prices were higher than expected…due to the increase in aluminum prices.. cough cough BS cough 

I don’t mind the drive into Mexico. I’ve got the XM comedy station, a cell phone I have yet to figure out and all kinds of voices in my head to keep me company. Which means, should there be a little wait at the border I’ve got plenty to do and people to talk with while I wait. And if waiting means I’ve just saved $377.00 bucks on diesel then I would be nuts not to do it. (my truck has a 130 gal tank plus its stupid little piss pot stock one that holds 24 gal).

I have started seeing a lot of ex-patriots down across the border these days, all of us gathering at the PEMEX station, drinking coffee and telling lies. We share stories about secondary inspection and all the places on our trucks the customs guys look for dope and aliens. No worries, all I have on board is just a full tank of of fuel, a well programed cell phone, my current ID and a fading sense of humor if you mention a body cavity search one more time.

So, if anybody reads this blog, it was written with the express purpose of exposing the perils of Mexico and warning all who read it to stay away from the half price fuel just a few minutes south of the border. It burns just as well as the stuff up here that costs twice as much and you have to install a tank in the back of your truck to really take advantage of the savings. Don’t call Precision Off Road Engineering to build you one of those shiny aluminum tanks either, I hear that they are pretty nice guys who don’t charge an arm and a leg and deliver your tank in about three days, right to your doorstep. Don’t let this little secret get out, we wouldn’t want to encourage anybody into taking that dangerous drive down South, risking life and limb all for a few bucks would we?  I’ll see you at PEMEX, and feel free to stop by POE and pick up a tank on the way there.

Now that’s RIDING DIRTY,

Snakecharmer

I know this is supposed to be a blog about off road parts, fabrication and Nissan race trucks but once in while you gotta write about somthing different. In that regard, this post is the wandering mind of a man lit up on 3 margartias and very little ice.

Watching the news tonight I saw a report that questioned if “gas theft” would start to be a problem. Hell no, as long as we don’t get caught. I mean really, don’t you have a Kentucky credit card in the back of your truck? For the uninitiated, that’s a section of clear hose, about 3/8″ in dia that slides right into almost any hole that has gas in it. Suck on that baby and you’ve got the makings for a cheap Friday night on the town.  CLEAR HOSE, did you get that?  This is important. Why you ask? Well, its friday night right? Just so you know, it’s next to impossible to get that hot chick wearing dasiy dukes and a wife beater to talk to you with “gas breath”… not good, not attractive.  Here’s the point. with a clear hose you can see the damn gas BEFORE it gets in your yap while you are sucking your brains out trying to get it the siphon rolling. This whole siphon thing should be the making of every mans dream. No stupid, not sucking on the hose yourself, but the act in general, applied to a more specific task, one best done at your beck and call by the lovely daisy duke from the dew drop inn down on main street. THink about it men…I mean this takes a woman’s the best practices into consideration, first the blowing , then just as fast some sucking, and if it’s good there ain’t never a need to spit. Lets put that into the real mans rule-book for questions to ask before a first date. “Have you ever siphoned gas?” should be one of the first things we ask our prospective lovely counterparts. Follow that with, “are you any good at it?”  Providing you get an affirmative to both questions you have got one hell of a night in front of you. Just think, you can get where you’re going for next to nothing and upon your arrival she wont spit.  If you signed up for this dream date…..you might be a redneck.

Yup, that’s what i call Flogging the Blog.

Ride Dirty,

Snakecharmer